--.--

i just need to get my shit together & find out why the fuck would i sleep with a 39 year old man ... it was creepy tho . so i still have some common sense left , it seems . glad i didn't do that . i have to disappear for some time . i'll be gone for a while and i hope i won't send stories on instagram or sign in messenger or install whatsapp . i need my space . current situation : 

• javi is mad at me & things probably won't be the same & i don't understand why he has to be so dramatic about everything i learned how to chill why can't he
• almost fucked a 39 year old man called Kike , a friend of Juan , and told him that i fucked R
• now he's blocked so no need to worry anyway but what the fuck is wrong with me
• R won't talk to me to do the film things and this i know for sure ( I don't know why tho )
• this is better because i'm acting like a vulture around that relationship and it's better to stay away & safe . i have nothing to do there tbh
• last night sent a sms to Miguel asking where he was & sent him an instagram story saying : just come now
• he ignored me and it hurted like hell
• unfollowed all his friends on instagram
• drank too much
• can't go out with my phone if i am going to drink : checked . take it seriously girl
• just want my exams to end
• eventually L will find out about R and me
• What am i doing with my life
• why am i still doing this
• miguel is not coming back
• miguel does not love me
• miguel does not want me
• miguel does not want to know anything about me
• i have to be strong and not talk to him
• uninstalled whatsapp in an effort to take time to myself
• i have a bad feeling about everything but i hope it is just that i have hungover and feel like shit and tomorrow will be better
• am i that lost ?
• is sandra such a good nice girl ? is she better than me ? she probably is better but honestly there is no comparison possible in my opinion
• be careful and don't hang out with the rugby boys
• forget juan
• let things be